Preventing Family Abductions
You may not realize that approximately 230,600 children are kidnapped by a family member each year. This is many more children than are kidnapped by strangers. The good news is that family abductions can often be prevented.
The following information is provided to help you keep your children safe:
Are You at Risk for a Family Abduction?
A direct threat of a child abduction should always be taken seriously. If your relationship with the other parent is volatile, and you argue over visitation, this could become an issue. Here are some common warning signs:
If the other parent:
- Has threatened abduction or has actually abducted the child in the past.
- Is suspected of abuse, and these suspicions are supported by family and friends.
- Is paranoid delusional or severely sociopathic.
- Is a citizen of another country and is ending a mixed-culture marriage.
- Feels alienated from the legal system and has family/social support in another community.
- Has no strong ties to the child’s home state.
- Has no job, is able to work anywhere, is not financially tied to the area.
- Is planning to quit a job, sell a home, closing bank accounts, applying for passports, obtaining school or medical records.
Tips to Prevent Family Abduction
- Respect the other parent’s custody and visitation rights. Anger, frustration and desperation are leading causes of family abduction.
- Attempt to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex-spouse and his/her family. If a kidnapping does occur, you will need the support of the kidnapper’s family to bring your child home safely.
- Consider counseling. As little as 10 hours of intervention can reduce the stress, anger and frustration that lead to family abduction.
- Begin the custody process immediately. You cannot prove your custody rights without a custody order.
- Include abduction prevention measures in the custody order.
- Keep a certified copy of the custody order with you at home.
- Record and document abduction threats. Report them immediately to family court or your lawyer.
- Ask the police to intervene and warn the non-custodial parent of criminal consequences—family abduction is often a felony.
- Notify schools, healthcare providers, day care and babysitters of custody orders. Certified copies of custody orders should be on file at the school office etc.
- Keep lists of identifying information about the non-custodial parent, including social security numbers, current photos, license plate numbers and bank and credit card accounts.
- File a certified copy of the custody order in the non-custodial parent’s state, so that state’s courts know about the order.
- Obtain a passport for your child and notify the passport office that your child is not to leave the country without your written permission.
- Keep completed child ID documents for each child, you can find these in our free Child Safety Kit. Update the color photo you include every six months so it is current.
- Teach your children:
- Their full name.
- Your full name, address, and phone number(s).
- How to use the phone (cellular, corded & pay) wherever they may be.
- How to spot a safe adult (a police officer, a cashier, a worker stocking shelves)
- Reassure your children, every day that:
- You will always love them.
- You will always look for them if they don’t come home.
When the Kidnapper Leaves the Country
Sometimes in family abductions, the child(ren) will be taken outside of the United States. For the most accurate and up-do-date information on international child abductions and the policies of specific countries, the Polly Klaas Foundation® recommends you use the US State Department’s Resources on International Parental Child Abduction.